Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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