At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
