you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
