My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
