I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
