Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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