This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize