And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
