I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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