Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
sex in a hospital.. check
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
not ubering you a puppy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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