Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
