Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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