Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Randomize
