My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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