I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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