Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
