You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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