just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize