Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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