when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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