Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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