Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
