her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize