Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
