I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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