if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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