I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't like sucking hair
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I want a musical about memes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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