Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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