Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
