You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
