Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
