Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
