Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
