I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
