we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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