Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
