He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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