Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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