just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
