Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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