i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize