She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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