Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
