She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
