so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
