He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
