bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just gift wrapped bread.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
