the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
