why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize