Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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