It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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