Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
