just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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