Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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