also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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