ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
