at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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