I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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