I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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