let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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