you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
