therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
