You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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